picasa photos

Just wanted to provide link info for photos galore..

http://picasaweb.google.com/iam201002

Enjoy! It was so nice having you all along!

Wendy

My Farewell Candle into the Ganges

I have been stateside for exactly one week, give or take a few hours. I purposely took off work during this time for readjusting not knowing what shape I'd be in physically and to process what I knew would be an amazing journey. I was STILL up at 3 am this morning, 7 days out, this time making curry chicken. Cooking is what I have been drawn to in these sleepless early morning hours. My dog is confused and I think I'm throwing off her sleep patterns as she tends to stick by my side like a good, loyal dog will do. Funny how she will park herself on the kitchen tile at 3 am and just watch me create meals and no doubt wonder about my level of sanity. At least that is the look I seem to get. Well, it is what it is..

Ah, India. I have this overwhelming task of reflecting back on my trip and finding it to be like taking a sip of water from a fire hydrant at full velocity. Of course there were numerous other stories untold, and some for good reasons since my parents are tuned in, LOL.

So I will try to speak about what I am mostly left with. Howard touched on some of it in the last post, stemming likely from observations several of us had about the way the culture seemed to operate. And that has to do with a consciousness and presence not as demanded in a culture such as ours with all its 'conveniences.' Increased consciousness seems to be what happens when there is lack of order and not just traffic, but also building codes and the measure of time itself. Howard said it best when he said that 'one can't NOT be present' when so little is uniform. I wonder if convenience, birthed out of 'improvement' has made our collective consciousness antennas dull. Many improvements are/were necessary with regard to human rights and social responsibility, but most improvments related to convenience I think, have made us lazy not just physically but consciously. And I won't even get into how convenience has added to destruction of our planet's resources.

Just this week I was driving to the doctor's office to attend to some other souvenirs, and in my first experience back on my own streets, I was out of sorts in all the uniformity. My mind wandered between traffic lights, though I consider myself to be a cautious driver. In the comfort of assigned lanes and bubbles of metal, the precision of it all seemed to allow for an unplugging of a more acute awareness seen in India. True, acute awareness wouldn't make sense here like it does in India. I did see at least one accident and saw/heard no fewer than two running sirens in the very short jaunt which is more than I experienced in India the entire trip where millions are piled upon millions in cities like Delhi. So I wonder if India's seeming uniformity of consciousness is forced by lack of structure while our creation of structure, furthering internal order for some, is still an individual choice as to how each utilizes that structure. We can all become less conscious when uniformity is external vs. internal. In India, one doesn't have that option. And look who seems to have fewer accidents. hmmmmm...

There is also a notable trust in life unfolding in the moment around most Indians that seems more important than a need to be somewhere at an appointed time. I mean WE were all on vacation, but those involved in their life's routines would often drop what they were doing or pause in their work to be fully responsive to any particular expression of human connectedness that occurred before them. A scene comes to mind following our improptu roof top vocals. Fellow traveller Steve and I continued singing as we trailed our group through winding streets toward our next destination.
At one point we were into James Taylor's 'Shower the People' with great soul and shopkeepers and those we passed on the street gave many a Namaste or reached out to shake our hands, applauded or even stopped what they were doing to follow us and snap pics, smiles all around. It was a completely shared experience.

It is widely known that interpersonal connectedness brings us closer to our spiritual connectedness because it reminds us that we are all one. It has also been said that we grow exponentially more in relationship than in any other place in our lives. I once heard that visiting India is like getting a masters degree in spirituality, probably, in part, because of this. Maybe when feeling truly connected, one can't help letting go of that underlying anxiety of not being a part of it all and are left reaquainting ourselves with a deeper spiritual nature. I know I experienced a taste of that on my journey.

Eye contact too, was deep and soulful, even if you were just buying an item from someone in a shop. And if you joined them in that connection, like many of us did, then most times it would be taken to another level of communing, such as an invitation to tea. That would lead further still to the exchange of addresses, phone numbers, emails (in my case, badmitten and hikes to mountain temples and invitations to stay with them on a next visit to India :) Connection seemed to be valued above all else.

I don't mean to minimize my good life here in the U.S. I have much to be grateful for, but I do trust that my experience in India will continue to shape my life and inspire me to be more connected in meaningful ways. I have lived much of my life in an independent way, keeping my own counsel often. I mean, we have prided ourselves as being, or at least I have, as the pick-yourselves-up-by-the-bootstraps kind of people. I think of my family's roots with a grandmother that did the unthinkable and chose to be a single mother with nine children rather than stay in a destructive marriage. In the late 1930's early forties no less! Those stories I have been proud of. Maybe it is the act that comes from a courageous and true heart that moves me, rightly so. And maybe what I'm really talking about here is checking in to make sure that I am acting from an authentic heart vs. a fearful one that desires the safety of staying inside the lines. If my grandmother would have acted out of safety or fear of judgment, she may have stayed with my grandfather, repressing her truer nature.

By the way, I wanted to share with family members that I had a very deep and powerful experience in India, while meditating in Pushkar, where I felt my grandmother's very strong and overwhelming presence. She had not been on my mind in the least so when she came out of nowhere so intensely, I was completely taken aback. What I felt she was saying to me was one of gentle correction: that while independence was one we all prided ourselves in, perhaps even from her influence, that a truer connection to others can start to erode because of it, and to just be aware of that. She is still with us, I am now sure, and she holds an even greater wisdom. Listening to that and adjusting my life accordingly will not be easy, but it feels essential to my personal growth. The group experience on the tour was another layer that played out along the same theme. I was observing it and my response to it on many levels.

So at the risk of waxing too poetic and kumbaya here, this is just a space I find myself in, in the afterglow of a love affair with India. Thanks for indulging me in my ramblings. I am fortunate to have the friends and family I do in my life and if you are reading this, you are one of them. I guess this is the official sign off of my India blog. May life continue to soften our hearts, not to make them weak but to make them true. Blessings and Namaste, Wendy

Wendy Really was in India and India Loved Her

Hi Folks reading Wendy's site - Wendy Really was in India and India Loved Her!!!! She constantly warmed the hearts of locals and they continually openned up to her like the red sea parting. Big surprise - as you know she is that great. It was so great to witness her influence and to be along for the ride on this incredible journey.

So Far there are several great aspects of the trip for me...resonating on in great ways, maybe the result of a few great attunements received along the way at sacred sites or a few observations of the people and situations encountered or maybe a result of the imagined cremation I invoked in Varanasi (LOL) or a combination of all these factors and so much more.

One had to do with the how utterly available people there were to heart connection. So prevalent. Even when people were busy at tasks they sensed the energy of looking their way and turned and acknowledge first with their eyes and then with their hearts - with a Namaste - so readily available and beautiful - so matching my longing DNA and knowing that this is truly there for all - so opening and confirming to my soul.

Another is evidenced in the traffic we witnessed. I only saw one driver in three weeks getting mad. My theory is that you can't NOT be present in that traffic. If you get mad you risk hitting something else in the next nanosecond. I watched drivers faces as they faces oncoming, swerving, crazy, almost constant situations and challenges and they just kept going like it was just the nature of a big video game they were playing with interest, verve and amusement. They just continued to stay in the moment...one unending moment. I love that about this India experience.

There's more as my body keeps re-calibrating to this new vibration, which to me is the real take home message - this precious new vibration. That's my story and I will stick to that - lol - until the next download.
To Your Greatness~!
Wendy the Great's Great Friend Howard

The girl who stole my (chocolate) heart

Still time for more stories as I skipped the sunrise boatride and private concert on the boat itself. I know I know, how could I? But There have been so many glorious experiences that I really never said no to despite probably needing to rest and the idea of sleeping in and having no where to be really appealed to me. I just finished my breakfast on the terrace and when I wandered down to the internet cafe I ran into many others who apparently felt the same way and stayed behind. By the way, several of us have declared that we really could sell all that we own and move to Varanasi...

So a little about hawkwers and beggars...many of them are children and very tenacious. There are many ideas about how to handle this because if you give, you encourage the behavior which includes the deliberate maiming of children for the added sympathy factor. Not to mention you can start a stampede of other children who have radar for those who give. I've seen it already where a well-meaning fellow traveller gave away pieces of gum and had to have assistance in extricating herself from a sudden mob. And then we want to listen to how we feel and not become cold. Many have spoken about how it affects them. One gentleman admitted during sharing at our dinner last nite that he refused to look them in the eye and didn't like that about himself. And then once in awhile something unconventional happens...


Yesterday I pulled on a jacket I hadn't worn since Valentne's day and found a chocolate heart in the pocket from when fellow travellers Jessica and Fazl put them on our bus seats to find when we boarded that day. Jessica was nearby when I happened to notice that I still had it. We had just disembarked from our boat ride on the Ganges where we were to meet a bus that would take us to yet another point of interest. As we walked to the bus from the boat, Jessica heard 2 or 3 children asking specifically for chocolate and approached me to say that if I was interested in giving the chocolate away, there were children who were asking for some. I thought it was a good idea and when a young girl approached me alone, I dug into my pocket for the heart shaped foiled piece. I told her and gestured 'from my heart to hers.' She happily accepted while Jessica snapped pics but then the girl asked for more.
By then others children were approaching and seeing her treasure, also asked for more. This fun idea came over me and I explained as best I could that she had the ONLY piece of chocolate and I then began begging HER for the chocolate relentlessly, tugging on her sleeve the way they often did. She laughed and pretended to run away, but contnued returning for the game. I chased her around and then it became a situation where children were running up to me hoping to be chased by me. So when they even began coming near I would feign a start in their direction and they would scatter. The whole time I am saying 'chocolate chocolate!!' Finally she came up to me once more and when I said 'chocolate' and gestured toward the piece she clutched to her chest, she didn't run but sweetly explained in broken English that the heart was now hers but to me, offered a paper picture of an Indian movie star she had been holding, all tattered and wrinkled.
I took it, profusely grateful and she smiled, held my hand then kissed it. No more begging. She told me her name (Danika) and I told her mine.

When we returned to our boats later, I said to my friend Jaird, I wonder where my little Danika is and within seconds, I kid you not, she appeared. No trace of chocolate. I tried to give her her little picture back and she would have none of it. She held my hand and we walked to the boats together. It struck me that despite hardships, children are still children after all. I have a picture of her waving from the banks of Varanasi as we motored away.

Have a beautiful day, all. Love, Wendy

20,000 weddings and some funerals (cremations in Varanasi)

OK so more on the wedding thing. Astrologically, as it turns out, it is the best time for weddings and the nite we were pulled into one was the last nite of this auspicious period. When Suzanna and Puran looked into booking a room in Delhi, they soon found it difficult due to the 20,000 weddings booked in Delhi that nite. As we made our way to the train station that nite we encountered about 10 more. There was even one that passed by our bus outside the station itself. With so many delays unrelated, we got on our train around 4:30 am!!! Got to our hotel rooms in Varanasi around 5 pm finally. We hung on for dear life until after dinner and crashed for one of the best nite's sleep thus far.

This a.m. went for a boat ride to the location where Buddha gave his first sermon after enlightenment under the Bodhi tree not far from there. Our tour guide, Sharif, read the sermon itself in the same location. It was out of this world. Then we meditated for some time after. Prior to that I should mention that we visited the Buddhist temple near there where currently the 17th Karmapa (sp) is actually visiting tho we did not see him. He is next in line after the Dali Lama. It is the only Buddhist themed site visited other than the Jain temples which have relationship to Buddhists. Our tour's focus here other than meditation, has been more on the Sufi traditions, temples and history. As we rode back on boat, we went past some cremations in process on the banks of the Ganges in Varanasi. Much more could be said about that but...little time

Tonite is our last supper together as a group before hanging out one more day in Varanasi then departing on many fronts. I will be joining most on the return overnite train ride to Delhi where we will get a room for just the day and catch our various flights homeward.

Just came from our group's private concert by 'Uma' who played her sitar and taught us songs. Off to dinner. Will be stateside soon and this chapter will soon close as well. c'est la vie. Love to all, wendy

The blessing of delays...

As we sat around weary from the day with departure for train delayed and even in question, suddenly a wedding procession went right by our bus. Of course--somehow--Howard ended up in the middle of it then Penny then... um... MOI!!! Yeah, the music RULES me and the family pulled us into pictures with the wedding photographer. As I sit typing only a 10 yard walk away to the computer of my now shopkeeper friends, I am dripping with sweat! Amazing how something like that can enliven us all. So this is how quickly things are happening and I am lucky enough to feed it to you in real time until we depart for the train station. Some bad news I just learned is That Suzanna and Puran are heading back to Delhi because she is quite ill, feverish in fact and will be seeing a doctor and resting up until our departure on the 21st. She was a huge part of our experience here and will be greatly missed for the duration of the trip. OK word is we are leaving in 10 min. Must go! hugs all!

Cont'd... and godmorningstoal

So back to the temple on the mountainside. I was just coming out of the family's home dressed in my garb when howard came along on his way into town to shop and he accompanied us up to the second level of the temple before heading back down to town. (and who also had a profound experiencethere)Afterheleft (BTW I am havingserioustrouble here with the spacebar!!!)No timetoedit. Afterheleft, the boyPratik went to a structure where miraclewaterwas protected underneath.No women allowed...Hecameoutwith bowls full forall to splash about.
so weplayedin miraclewater forawhile. Then therewere conversations I couldn't understand and suddenly an entire feast was beinglaidout where the baba himselfjoined us.It was a magically orchestrated affair and they even allowed me to take pics not usually allowed in the temple. This was a Krishna/Hanuman temple...verycool native experience, not one that most tourists get toexperience. I felt very honored and humbled.


I am due back at the bus for an hour's ride to the train station for an all nite trip to Varanassi. Tomorrow, for the first time on this tour--other than the early free days after arrival--afree day tokick around with little structure. I have been missing that, as much fun as all this has been.

Just back from the pharmacy as it turns out, I got a second round of the nasty cold that has gone thru our camp. I am near the end of it finally. All of it has been manageable...dancing thru the nite inJaisalmer, playing badmitten, stickball and hiking a mountain in Pushkar don'texactly constitute the necessary ingredient of rest required to kick a cold in the ass...but I don't think I could have turned any of it down.

Funny, keyboards all have theiruniqueproblems.Ifyou remember 2 posts ago, it would never allow a double letter strike--which as it turns out, there are quitea few.After tiring of editing, I left you withgreetings of god morning and god nite to al :)

OK so nowI mustwander back to my comrades.I've enjoyed being able tofindyouallhere.It has added an important layer to my experience here. With warm thoughts of you all, Wendy